Finding Presence: Navigating 'Mindfug' Moments in Relationships

November 21, 2023
Finding Presence: Navigating 'Mindfug' Moments in Relationships

Kia ora! πŸ‘‹πŸ’š

This week I got called out by MB (aka my beloved), big time too!😬  I've been getting really niggly about 'stuff'. Nothing really comes to mind at the moment but I guess my behaviour has been a lil 'not acceptable'. The 'niggly' is what comes out of me, when I'm trying to process things in my head and frustration peers its head... when things that I'm trying to process don't work out smoothly in how I want it.

 It's what I call a 'mindfug' moment. ☝️ MB would say I've been a 'shut'.   It was pointed out to me how focused I get and in that focus, I can be very serious. When I get serious, I don't notice a lot around me.  My awareness to .....well pretty much everything goes out the window. The fun dies down and the joy becomes non-existent around me.

My presence is nowhere to be found and to MB's credit, she pretty much had to voice that out to me - "Look, I am here you know, talking to you, showing you stuff, trying to engage and nuddah!" *Cripes!*

My excuses were "I'm trying to build something here for us and that if I keep doing this it'll be what we need for blah, blah, blahhhh...." which is how I actually sounded after a while.  I could hear the crap coming out of my mouth and my brain was hurting from rolling my own eyes at myself!" πŸ™„ 

I was just switched off to her, to everything around me. It's something I do when I'm 'creating' and in my headzone.  I can just zone out for hours and to be honest, if I'm home alone for a few days, I can get so focused no one would hear from me until I come up for "air" in my own time. Knowing that about me, yes I've been a 'shut' in that moment. 

MB doesn't say anything unless it is beginning to be a problem.  I have the most supportive loving person in my life and the funnest too! Not really the funniest, I mean the humour is pretty dry 😏 (yup, and she knows it)  In saying that I'm very grateful to have them in my life and I can see now that being caught up in my own 'stuff',  I haven't really shown that like I usually do. So the lesson for me this week is, "Get out of my head, and dish out some lovin vibes" 

Being present in my relationship is my priority because it's the foundation of this amazing life I have now. MB lives in an ADHD world. Her brain is so different to mine. Everything is about moments and what is happening now. The lil things she notices are important whereas I may take them for granted or just don't spend the time in that 'being' of a moment. MB would be really one of my greatest teachers and lately, I know I kind of fell off the wagon in the realm of understanding within my own self-awareness. 

I kicked myself up the butt and put the steps back in place to be better.   

Relationships are like gardens; they need tending. And hey, learning from each other, especially in the ADHD world, is a wonderful journey.

Here's to embracing the present, laughter in abundance, and the beautiful dance of growth.

Until the next musings, take care and enjoy the journey, Shel! 🌺✨

Kia ora! I'm Shel, the creative brain behind 'The Art of Acceptance.'

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